Tuesday, 3 July 2012

Challenging my fear of the unknown

Well, it's official.  Everyone can now read the first 80 pages or so of Primae Noctis in their unedited form.  I can't help but feel extremely nervous of what the general public (possibly you) will think when they have a read of the sample:  Too wordy?  Not enough action?  Too graphic?  Overtly philosophical?  I debated providing a more selected sample of the novel rather than offering the pages from the beginning, but I felt that it would deprive readers of a fair chance of discovery for some of the greater mysteries of Primae Noctis in the order in which they were intended to be revealed.  Too late to worry about it now...

The time is growing close for the launch of the Primae Noctis Kickstarter crowdsourcing project launch.  It will go live globally sometime after the end of the Independence Day holiday weekend in the United States.  At this point, I think that anyone would wonder if they have done everything that they could to ensure the success of their effort.  Decent website?   Check.  Social media linked in?  Check.  Friends and colleagues on board to help spread the word?  Check.  Self-confidence and expectations reasonably established?  Check and check...sort of...

In addition to fulfilling a lifelong ambition, this whole process has also been one of personal discovery.  Do I feel that I've learned enough from all of the random adventures and education in my life to convince anyone else that I can deliver an interesting narrative?  I hope so.  Finding my voice and the confidence to take my concept and ideas direct to the public rather than deciding to trod the well-established channels of the literary establishment has been the real gut check.  I know that the decision leaves little margin for error on my part.  These are very nervous words.

I think that everyone has a few times in their lives where they need to throttle up and take a big risk to try to capture a part of their dreams.  In the past, I sometimes let irrational fears of the unknown stand in my way, as I tried to hide my secret identity as a risk averse person.  Life is replete with opportunities that we miss out on due to fear of risk, and I'm glad that I was able to come to terms such concerns and not miss this opportunity.

Conquering the fear of failure is one lesson that I know that I will take away from this experience regardless of the ultimate outcome.  The more that this endeavour becomes a reality, the greater sense that I feel that I have already achieved something very important.

No comments:

Post a Comment